I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize