You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
