He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize