i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize