hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
