I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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