So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
