so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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