Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
