dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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