It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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