Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
barbara walters just said penis...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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