In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize