she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
