This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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