things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
