when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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