Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
