just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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