I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
