Umm I'm too high to move.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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