I can't watch pbs sober anymore
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
