I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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