Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
