can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize