Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
