I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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