Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
high people should be assigned attendants
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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