She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
