I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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