I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think people are normalizing furries
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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