i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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