sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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