My nipple is on Facebook.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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