Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
