dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
