Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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