I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
