She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
home. puking in laundry basket.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
