Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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