wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just sent this text using only my big toe
zippers are such a cool invention
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
