So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
