I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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