so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
