Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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