you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize