i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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