this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
