it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
