Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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