Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
