I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
