you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
