Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
