This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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