I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
