Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
