question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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