how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Randomize