i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
