her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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