My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
