i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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